Thursday, May 15, 2008

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Don't tell the EGE, but I've been having a torrid, lustful affair. It's long-running and even predates my 15-year marriage. GASP.

I am only on day two of the break-up and the withdrawals are fierce. I am alternately plotting ways to recontact my ex-lover and chanting a mantra of self-control. The mantra goes like this:

Dutch Brothers costs money. Dutch Brothers costs money. Dutch Brothers costs money.

Just so you know, I hate the spending hiatus. If I had it to do over I wouldn't do it. But now that I've declared the spending hiatus to my two readers (I lost a few over the daffodil vase, I think, unless you're still lurking, in which case, please come back), there's this stupid little problem called accountability. We all know accountability can make us do idiotic things. Like swearing off spending money at a time when a quadruple mocha is just what the doctor ordered.

Judging by the number of links in that last paragraph there are some definite themes in my life as a blogger. Such as: (A) embarrassing myself by posting before thinking and (B) obsessing about escaping my problems through drinking (caffeinated chocolate!).

So the spending hiatus is going well.

I've only thought about spending money a couple of dozen times. A minute. I realize stocking up on yogurt and rice was not sufficient to get me through the next eight and a half days. I need to buy a book or two. I need to have some more coffee creamer in the house. I don't really want to use dish towels for nursing pads or for diapers, for that matter.

For crying out loud I didn't even put gas in the Suburban so we could take a drive. All the playdough in the house is dried up and Gracie needs her playdough. It's only a dollar or two. No one would know.

So I can search the internet for a playdough recipe. Mother of invention, right here. I even have the cream of tartar in the house. This brings me to my next problem: I don't WANT to make playdough. I want to drive to town, stopping for a DUTCH BROTHERS, and then buy the freaking playdough at Target or WalMart like "that girl" does.

I have a problem. Thanks for noticing.


Farm Chick said...

Just to clarify.

My sweet friend is not, I repeat NOT, romantically involved with a couple of Dutch, brothers.

Wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea, like I did. I was thinkin' 'hold the mustard, how did I miss that she had a boyfriend?'

For all of you blog readers outside of the Northwest, the "Duch Brothers" are coffee people. They make the most amazing coffee drinks. It is enough to make you swoon~trust me.

Hey do they call a coffee dude a "barista" too?

Farm Chick said...

Hey girlfriend! You rock!

Just boosting your ratings. Or comments. Or something like that....Well you get the idea.

Farm Chick said...

Hey! I am annoying I know! BUT I just thought I would help you with a little math formula. Might ease some of the stress of the spending freeze.

$3.75(for mocha)+1.50(for not-so-hot)+32.00(for the 2 gallons of gas)+cellulite(from the breve' mocha)= Stay at home!


farm suite said...

But if the mocha is worth the eighty-seven dollars, should I start saving now so I can buy one when the week is up?

Chickie Momma said...

Alas, I have something for you. I shall return shortly...

Chickie Momma said...

Secret Play Dough Recipe
(It's a secret because I have it taped to the inside of my cupboard door. My kids think I just open the door, whip it up and blammo, I'm awesome. It's a secret.)

1 Cup Flour
1 Tablespoon Oil
1 Cup Water
2 Teaspoons Cream of Tartar
Food Coloring

Combine all in a saucepan. Cook over medium heat. Stir constantly until it forms a ball.
Knead until smooth (remove from the pan first or you'll burn the bajeebers outta your knuckles)
Store in a covered container or your little ones will eat it

Chickie Momma said...

Want to know something miserable? Yours truly (who is NOT on a spending hiatus, but is trying really hard to be) got a Buy One Get One Free coupon for Dutch Bros today! I was so excited, but the miserable part is that nobody wanted to go with me. Can you even imagine??? I'm trying to teach Mr Nice Guy how to enjoy coffee. He's got a long way to go.

Kacy said...

Make Kool Aid play dough. The good smell of it will motivate you to make more. . . and maybe to spend money.