Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Dread and the Prozac(tm)

Today I am dreading a few things. It's on my list, right at the top: Things To Dread And Avoid Until It's No Longer Possible.
Oh, yeah, I'm "avoiding" too. These are actions, you know, and take some time to plan out. If you are hoping to embark on my same route, you'll need to have a thorough agenda. Possibly a flow chart, since unpredictability is a big factor.
The picture to the left has nothing to do with my post. I just like to look at cute pictures of my kids, so I thought you might too. Isn't that a cool carving? To do it justice I should have zoomed out, since it's a full-sized horse head peaking around a stall front to sniff a kitty cat. And it's all carved out of one massive piece of wood.
So back to the day's work:
What I'd like to do and what I get to do and what I do leading up to what I get to do, these are all possible topics. This morning I get to do some real estate: email some property photos to Hawaii (I'm willing to hand deliver...), call around about custom signs for a new subdivision, do some market research and call the client with price analyses, get signatures on a listing to renew. Then I get to tidy up my house a little, 'cause my mom is coming over to watch the big girls while I go in to Ryan's office for a meeting. Then I get to get dressed office-appropriate and drive to town for the likely contentious two-hour affair. Thus the dread. Oh, don't forget: nurse, burp, change, play with baby three times each, evenly spaced amongst the other stuff. Deliver at similar intervals to 4-year-old juice, crackers, coloring books and clean clothes.
I notice when I am really, really beyond stressed, I tend to break things up into super small steps. And I'm not sure whether that's healthy or obsessive. I don't really take Prozac (tm), YET, but I joke around about it all the time.
HEY! they ought to dispense anti-anxiety drugs at Dutch Brothers along with the mochas! (note to self: cool marketing idea, just figure out a way to get around the pharmacist/doctor thing.)
I am juggling too much. Did I mention I have a 3-month-old baby and a 4-year-old at home too? That our oldest two are in school until 2:05 each day, so at 1:35, I DROP EVERYTHING as though my home were on fire, and DRIVE LIKE A MADWOMAN back to Lorane so they are not walking to an empty house? I know I've detailed the horses, rabbit, errant Golden retriever, baby chicks, etc.
Did I mention that I've not been away from Laura for more than 20 minutes yet? That's something to be proud of, to be sure, but the juggling is taking its toll. The business is doing great. We have so many new contracts that we're booking them months and months out. But today, I am worried. I am looking with trepidation at each and every step I must make today, unsure whether the ground will hold. I long to simplify my crazy life and just sit on the couch and look at Laura's eyelashes growing.
Best to quit dreading and jump in to doing.

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