Sunday, June 8, 2008

Spring Fling

I'm still spinning too.

Last night was our rural school's Spring Fling. You might think of it as a convention of all things farmish. The local Grange, Rebecca Lodge and school district join forces every year here and throw a party. We're a little fun-deprived in the country, evidently, because everyone between birth and 90 in a 10-mile radius shows up to eat chili dogs and root beer floats, to get their faces painted with butterflies and go "fishing" for two-liter sodas and plastic ladybug rings.

Mayberry meets Mitford in this rife-with-raffles soiree. Grandpas rig the "jailhouse" for locking up errant teenage boys. Two tickets or ten minutes in the brig to cool off. Grandmas fight over all the babies. The teachers take turns in a dunk tank and the kindergarteners get to push the button, bypassing any need for good aim with a softball. The fifth- and sixth-graders put on a radio play: The Lasagna Massacre. A local massage therapist set up for five-minute massages for five bucks... to benefit the school of course. I was disappointed that this year she put the nix on back-to-back massages, but it was okay, because I could have easily blown all the kids' carnival ticket money in the shoulder-tension releasing department. For the good of the school.

Here are my three big girls, plus KL's daughter, visiting from Katie's Calamities:

But I know you're asking yourself why I might have shoulder tension in the midst of all this hilarity. I'm so glad you asked! It's because I am FARMGIRL (hear me roar). Yesterday before the Spring Fling, the EGE had other engagements (aka his little brother's season-ending baseball game). We also needed six-foot-tall fence pickets and eight-foot wiggle board (doesn't that sound exotic?) from the home improvement store.

What to do? No manly help is readily available. The Suburban will not hold the lumber, at least not while holding the children and myself too. Need the lumber. Have no man labor. Oh my.

Well, friends, you are reading the post of a girl who can drive the treacherous twisty back country roads with a 3,000-pound horse trailer hitched up to the Suburban by the most innocent-looking two-inch ball of steel. AND then this girl can shop the lumberyard. AND THEN she's more than able to drive home without losing any lumber or the horse trailer OR her sweet disposition!

The nice men at the lumberyard did help me a lot. But they looked at me a little weird when I was taking pictures for my blog. Unfortunately, the pictures didn't turn out, because I'm trying to figure out this loaner camera. Never mind, I can bring home the lumber and... um... build it into a fence. (Shave and a haircut... two bits.)

Sarah was super impressed that we were in and out of the hardware store in only 15 minutes. I made her promise to tell Daddy how efficient I was. Then I made all the girls be silent the whole way home because I might have been sweating the curves just a little.

And after all that, we made it home just in time to brush everyone's hair and twiddle our thumbs while waiting for the EGE to race home from the baseball game. Grandma came over and we all walked up to the school.

Did I mention the petting zoo? Out here in the boondocks, the petting zoo is not composed of farm animals. Nope, no miniature goats and rabbits for these country children, because they're all tired of feeding those animals at home. Our petting zoo boasted a 50-year-old escaping tortoise, a lemur, some creepy reptilian things and not enough hand sanitizer.

Non sequitur du jour:

This one's for all the Lyle fans:


Chickie Momma said...

Ok, I gave a full on hyena laugh at T's hair... we noticed he was Lyle-like a couple weekends ago, but the pic took the cake.

Sounds like you are a REAL farmgirl if you can haul a trailer!! You go girl!

Misty said...

you are an inspiration to me... Truly. A real farmgirl indeed, esp. in comparison to this city girl!

Farm Chick said...

O' man my son is sooo handsome! His hair wasn't even at it's full Lyle potential either.

Ahem, 12 miles, thank you very much! rock, with your trailer pulling and once you get that fence built, well....... I think I just might have to hand over the title of Queen of Everthing.......

the160acrewoods said...

okay Lyle ... wait a minnut.. lyle lovett? lol... he's a cutie... and your girls are gorgeous!!! hehe farm girl... why does the song "redneck girls" come to mind? lol

Barb said...

Blogger ate my comment but I refuse to let it just WIN.


Only you could do the "Mayberry meets Mitford" phrase. You are SUCH a good writer. So. Good.

And, um, I've seen a local production of "The Lasagna Massacre." I consider my house, off, off, OFF, WAY FREAKIN' OFF Broadway. It brought the house to its feet. I'm just sayin'.