Big Bad Booger

Alright, it's a bad picture. I was driving past at 55 miles per hour. But go ahead and click on it if you'd like to get a clearer view of the utter horror and humiliation in that horse's eye. None of the other guys have to wear their hoods, Mom. I'll look like such a dork.

Super Sarah saves the day.

Sometimes she's Sleuthing Sarah, the mostly invisible and incredibly stealthy sister of Super Sarah.

And now, for this post's sponsoring moment, brought to you by Grace Hannah, who has a certain way with words. And play dough.

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First you should know that we're not that big on the booger talk around here. I swear. But we've had a few outbreaks --outbursts?-- of the snotty variety lately.

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The first sign of booger danger happened over the holidays. Grace became inexplicably bonded with a set of crayons that came free with the kiddie menu at a diner. She named them Bonnie Blue, Racing Red and Snot Green. Yes, I'm aware she dropped the alliteration. But she's 4. So enamored was she of the three free crayons that she clutched them across state lines and throughout several family get-togethers. She talked to them. She introduced them to her finger friends. (You know you want to click. And BONUS, I just did, only to realize there's ANOTHER booger-related Gracism. You gotta click.) And of course she wailed inconsolably when she lost Snot Green in the gutter during an ill-fated bathroom stop.

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You've not lived until you've heard my husband promising, to the amazement of random passers-by, to buy her another Snot Green just the minute we get home. But Daddy! They only have Snot Green at Denny's! In Calee-forneea! And Snot was SPECIAL.

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Our second brush with the tissue issue was a little stranger. And by that I mean a mite more odd, not a small person whom we've never met. (Don't talk to that short snot! she exclaimed. Not really. I might be overtired. Don't mind me.) This second foray into the realm of snot fascination occurred when I was chauferring a client just last week. I happened to have Grace and Laura in the Suburban at the time and my client was remarking how well-behaved my preschooler and baby were. (Why thank you so much.) Directly after her compliments Grace shouted out that Laura, whose carseat was still rear-facing, had mastered a great new skill. "Mom! Mommy! Laura can pick her own nose now!" (Mmm.Hmm. Incredibly well-behaved. Just not bribed-slash-threatened thoroughly enough before entertaining clients.)

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And finally, finally, we come to today's most embarrassing moment.

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You know, I used to say that my children were placed on this Earth to mortify me. I wonder why ever I stopped saying this. Also, at what point did I start laughing uncontrollably instead of feeling the blush? Does this mean I've "lost it" or "found it?" Anyone?

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Oh, yeah. Today.

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Today Grace and I were listening to a little vintage Wynonna Judd in the Suburban while the big girls were in computer class. I usually borrow the homeschool co-op's WiFi to catch up on email (and the odd tv show -- don't tell anyone) while the baby naps and Grace works on her numbers or plays Legos. But today we were rocking out and eating peanut butter and honey sandwiches on homemade wheat bread. Yum. The song was playing loud, the sun was shining, life was ... snotty.

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Because Grace was still belting out the swing-style "Big Bang Boogie" as we walked in to the schoolroom. In perfect tune, with the wrong lyrics: "Big Ba-aad Booger... A Big Ba-aad Booger."

I just looked at the other homeschool parents and shrugged. Whataya gonna do?