Wednesday, February 11, 2009

www dot off my rocker dot com

It's time for statewide writing assessments. This is the point at which my laid-back self says, "Oh, okay, let's see where the girls are in their writing progress." Then the magnificently relaxed me calmly finds a certified tester, explains to the girls the differences between expository and narrative essays, and gets the girls a smoothie to share on the way.

The laid-back part of me is a really, really small part of me.

The obsessive part of me says, "Let's spend the next 20 to 90 minutes on the department of education site, finding out what 'real' teachers do to prepare the kids." The site gives me a little info, but polling the two certified teacher friends gives me more data. Then the freaked-out me realizes that 'real' teachers are actually giving their students weeks of practice and (although they're not supposed to) allowing kids to pre-write their assessment sample essays. Unfair! Unethical! Unavoidable! The freakishly obsessive and remarkably competitive part of me leans toward doing as they do, frantically cramming new writing tricks into my kids' brains in spite of the fact that they are very good writers. This same me will spring for a protein drink and coach my girls on the way like they're heading into a wrestling meet: Make sure you take your position from the start! Three supporting points and you've got it DOWN for the count! Make sure the words are pinned before you walk away! Now hit the mat and give me three diagrammed sentences! Go!

We must enter the real world to do these tests. I'm not sure which part of me should drive.

6 comments:

Katie said...

Rock a'bye baby....on the State site....

Farm Chick Paula said...

Hmmmm... maybe the relaxed version should drive.....

Barb said...

Dude, get out of my head! Well, I mean, your head would be MY head if I were homeschooling but it's close enough. (Great, another crazy persona for you to deal with.)

Jules said...

Wow! I think I would be in the same mental state as you if I had to endure testing. Luckily, I live in a state that requires little to nothing of homeschoolers except filing one form.

I think you should give obsessive you and competitive you a valium and take laid-back you out for ice cream!:)

QuiltedSimple said...

he he he. tooo funny. OUr school district just got some huge grant to do tutoring for the majority of 3rd - 5th graders to prepare for the achievement tests in April. Somehow, Jessie ended up with tutoring even though she's pulling A's in reading and writing and a B in Math. Go figure. Just don't understand the schools requirements lately....
Kris

Jules said...

Hi - I've given you a blog award - stop by and check it out!