Thursday, July 3, 2008

Sexy For An Eskimo

Just in case you Googled in: I am not actually writing from Alaska, nor am I a native of that land. Also, I am terrified to cause any offense. If you are Aleutian, or if I spelled that wrong, or if that's the wrong word altogether, please don't get mad. I'm just a nice girl from the sticks.

A nice girl from the sticks who just did her morning farm chores in another amazing getup inspired by the recent movie premiere of Sex In The Country. City? Dang. I always mix those up.

And just in case you Googled in, we do live in the sticks. We live in a particularly gentrified neck of the sticks, and our next-door-neighbor is a bed and breakfast touting local wines, handmade soaps, peace and quiet and lovely views. Of me tromping down to my barn. (Alternately of my kids racing around our back yard in saggy swimsuits.) I know, I know, I told them not to serve breakfast on the back deck there, but does anyone listen to me?

Today is a big day, it's Fourth of July Eve, and my mother-in-law is coming tomorrow, complete with my sister-in-law and my adorable nephew and my grandmother-in-law. We are all going to attend a rodeo and celebrate Sarah's birthday and the independence of our country and all. But before I can get around to freaking out about cleaning house, I have to attend the company Fourth of July Eve potluck.

This potluck is the brainchild of one of the crew. He wanted to share with us his passion for video games, and we wanted to appear less than stodgy. So we scheduled a big deal families-welcome potluck and I made a craft for the kids, which I shall attempt to blog later if it turns out funny and if I don't glue my hands to the camera. While the kids are crafting and the grown-ups are eating, I guess the in-between ones (by which I think I mean the men?) will be playing video games. They'll cease being Eng-Gen-Eer types for two hours and cut loose to be Gamers. Ooh. Talk about sexy.

So today is a busy day. I have the in-law prep, a huge bbq pork roast in the crock pot to transport, and the craft crap spread all over my office to organize and pack to the office. And I have learned my lesson about lazing around in my pjs all morning. It does not bode well for a day, as it just about guarantees a visit from traveling missionaries.

In order to be ready for the day, I woke up, scrunched my hair with the weightless serum, and threw on a pink polka dot linen skirt (so cute) and coordinating ('cause I'm grown-up garanimals) pink v-neck t-shirt. I hustled my pink polka dot bustle downstairs before any girls were awake and I put on a pot of coffee. Ah, coffee.

Then I stepped into my famous rubber boots. They're waterproof, sheepskin-lined and feature lug soles. It's oh-so-comfy any time of year, and ensures that no barn, um, material comes in contact with my freshly shaved legs or pedicured toes.

Pink tee, polka dot linen skirt, tamed wavy tresses... and barn boots fit for a moon landing. Or a snow sledding expedition in Alaska, take your pick.

The EGE was pulling out of the drive as I sauntered around front. He winked at me in that special Fourth of July Eve way and called out as he drove away that I looked "Sexy for an Eskimo." So you know I was glowing. And it shouldn't have surprised me at all that the next creature I came across was not my Kooky Moron chicken but a guest from the B&B. Out for a morning run and enjoying the view (I swear I could hear him thinking, "what the he-eck is that woman wearing?").

Isn't it relaxing to visit us in the country? "Where the hostess is never underdressed and the view is always interesting."


Becca said...

well I DO live in Alaska and that would be sexy up here. but your boots would probably be more like XtraTufs. We call them Alaska sneakers.

Misty said...

perhaps I should visit the b & b. you know, just for entertainments sake. I am a review writer, I could write it up... take some photos...
Something to think about.

Farm Chick said...

OH. MY. GOO'ness. I think Misty should write a review for the B&B!! We could make it a girls weekend *hint-hint*

You always look cute!

Jade said...

Very cute post! I need pictures!!!

Anonymous said...

never undressed on the farm.... hehe, I'll have to teach that one to my son.. he's practicing to be a nudist.. though I don't think it works well here.. espeically when it gets closer to winter.